Current mood:	crappy
Current music:	Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap

Old Greg's got a mangina...




Is it so wrong to want to feel important to someone you love? If its wrong, then i dont want to know whats right.

I woke up today, more disappointed because when i looked out the window, it was pouring down rain. Not to mention, its 40 degrees outside. My cousin's wedding was today, but i didnt go. For one i didnt feel up to it, and two, i havent seen him for 14 years. Does he remember me? Probably not. Although, i do feel bad about not going.

I feel like im such a bother to people.. I cant ever let things go. If something bothers me, i try my hardest to make things better, but only i make things worse.

Sometimes i feel like i just want to give up all together. I feel like i take too much shit, and i dont have a backbone anymore. Yes, i lost that backbone a long time ago. I want to be able to stand up for myself, and whats right for me, its so hard. I dont like rejection, i hate to even think of it. I dont understand, honestly. I have no problem standing up for myself when it comes to my family and friends, but when it comes to love, i feel hopeless. I just want to feel important to him.. is that so wrong? I guess i should give up all together, then again, i really dont want to. I cant lose again to my selfishness.

I feel so sick. I just want to run away. I wish the sun would come out, i know for a fact i would feel happier with the sun hanging over my head.

Perhaps i will return back to sleep. Hopefully when i wake up, things will be better. That is, i hope. I know it will only happen if i let it, well i want it to happen. Bring it on.



"Hide And Seek"

Where are we? What the hell is going on?
The dust has only just begun to form,
Crop circles in the carpet, sinking, feeling.
Spin me round again and rub my eyes.
This can't be happening.
When busy streets a mess with people
would stop to hold their heads heavy.

Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines.
All those years they were here first.

Oily marks appear on walls
Where pleasure moments hung before.
The takeover, the sweeping insensitivity of this
still life.

Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines. (Oh, you won't catch me around here)
Blood and tears,
They were here first.

Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that you only meant well? Well, of course you did.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it's all for the best? Ah of course it is.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it's just what we need? And you decided this.
Mmm what you say?
What did she say?

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I dont believe you.
You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you.
You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.

You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.