...

I work really hard, 'cause im no fun.

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 20:50:08 GMT

This journal is slowly dying.

Halloween Saturday. I used to love halloween, now i just hate it. Why? I don't like the fact that all the cool costumes are expensive as fuck, and they are still made of shitty material. Make a costume you say? No thank you. I have better shit to do.

Chest Cold part one

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 17:55:53 GMT

So this morning i woke up with an awful chest cold. So i didn't go to class.

Instead I stayed home, slept alot, ate california style veggie soup, drank hot honey with lime juice, and watched Superjail.

Nothing says "Get well soon" like a violent cartoon jail setting <3

D:

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 03:42:20 GMT

One of my sister's best friends (And a friend to me as well) passed away this morning. I was told he overdosed on drugs.

We will miss you, Chet : <

LMFAO

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 17:40:46 GMT

You wanna start games?

Get your ugly ass face out of my business. Your face is rude. Your whole life is rude. Go cut yourself and listen to some gay ass hippie music.

And do everyone else a favor. Either delete your account PERMANENTLY or keep it. Your indecisiveness is pointless.

Seriously, im done. My LJ is a place for me to express myself, not to keep fighting against some ugly ass bitch.

37 is not a symbolic number, you psycho bitch.

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 20:22:21 GMT

My summer's been great <3 I have the best fiancee in the world <333333

So, Max and I traveled up to Monticello, IN on Monday to spend a day at Indiana Beach. The last time I visited IB, it seemed so much bigger.. maybe its because i was only 12? Yeah probably. Anywho, A whole day by ourselves, extremely relaxing. Next year, we are going to Holiday World, hands down.

I feel so much better now that i am not friends with a schizophrenic bitch. I have better friends, and life is much better when you don't have someone on your back bitching about the food you eat. Vegetarianism is probably one of the stupidest decisions i have ever made. Never again. Meat is murder, tasty tasty murder.

Something more exciting: My new car will be ready to drive in less than 2 weeks <3 I love my life.

Bitch be trippin balls!

Wed, 03 Sep 2008 02:44:09 GMT

Oh great merciful crap-shit.

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 05:48:44 GMT

Today totally disgusted me in so many ways.

I will kick every cramp in my ovaries in the face. And for those of you who say its not possible, trust me i will find a way. Because remember kids, where there is a will, i want to be in it.

Max came over this morning, we watched Jerry Springer and then went to Dairy Queen because i was biting off everyone's head because of my lack of chocolate intake. Hell hath no fury like a girl with cramps.

What made it worse was the fact that i had to go into work. I got yelled at 2 times for pointless bullshit that didnt even matter what-so-fucking-ever. I hate my job. Kayla showed up with medication for me, this completely made my day. I love you dude! Your the best!!!!!1

When i got home my sister instantly started in on how she is in charge while mom and dad are in Ohio. I pointed out that i am staying at Kayla's for the whole weekend, and she was a bit relieved that i wasnt going to be around. She then got the idea that it was ok to accuse me of stealing my brother's camera from his house, and selling it for money. Ok for one, i would never steal something and sell it for money. There's no point. I told her she needed liposuction, and then ran into the house and slammed my door. I felt powerful, and of course, really really hurt. I talked to Kayla for a long time, and she made me feel better, because she always does :3

Max came to my rescue and whisked me away to his house. I called my mom and told her that i would not be returning unless i got a full sincere apology. Mom apparently threatened Erin someway (I want to know how..) And i got a call 2 minutes later from Erin saying that she didnt mean it, and that she was really sorry. It was an act, i could tell. At least im home now (even tho i can still feel tension throughout the house)

Im still really hurt that she would accuse me of stealing a really expensive camera.

Nicknames and such

Thu, 22 May 2008 18:38:15 GMT

"What's your nickname, and how did you get it?"

Kayla had this question in her journal, so im going to answer it too.

I have been called "Chewy" from the day i was born. My dad was big into star wars, and all the other hero movies and what not.. But, back to why my family calls me "Chewy". I used to make a growling noise similar to chewbacca when i was asleep (as a baby) So my parents decided that it fit. They still call me Chewy to this day. (Actually, just this morning my mom said "Bye Chewy, love ya!")

Monkeyface- I used to call an old friend of the family this. And she used to call me it back. I was only 3.

Andi Pandi - Again, this has been my nickname from family members since i was a baby. My dad wanted to name me "Andi" even if i was a boy or girl. I used to have this panda bear backpack i would carry around with me everywhere. And one day, i was just called "Andi Pandi"

Chibi - i got this in middle school when my friend Jessica started calling me it.

Merkip - the nickname i made up

Dear self: Your an idiot.

Sun, 18 May 2008 03:51:25 GMT

I havent felt like this much of an idiot since the last guy i was with.

Everything is completely my fucking fault. All my fault.

Cant take it back.

I wish i would wake up and realize that he doesnt like me. If i was awake, i wouldnt feel as bad as i do now.

I hate being alone. I hate being indoors. I hate the person i have become.

Settle down now fuzzy little man peach.

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 06:59:46 GMT

My birthday was awesome.

I gots cash from my mum and dad. Erin got me ATHF 5, and i got my Disturbed shirt from my bro and sis in law.

I bought a HUGE $17.99 how to draw manga book. It kicks ass.

I accidentally hit a raccoon when i went to go pick up food for my sister and i. On my way back i noticed there was no raccoon in the road. He must have been Jesus.

Im going to move up working as a waitress at Hirosaki in a few weeks. I am getting tired of just being a hostess.

And im just plain tired. But i cant pull myself away from the game console to get sleep. Aww.

Voice Post

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 02:01:11 GMT

Old Greg's got a mangina...

Sat, 12 Apr 2008 21:13:38 GMT

Is it so wrong to want to feel important to someone you love? If its wrong, then i dont want to know whats right.

I woke up today, more disappointed because when i looked out the window, it was pouring down rain. Not to mention, its 40 degrees outside. My cousin's wedding was today, but i didnt go. For one i didnt feel up to it, and two, i havent seen him for 14 years. Does he remember me? Probably not. Although, i do feel bad about not going.

I feel like im such a bother to people.. I cant ever let things go. If something bothers me, i try my hardest to make things better, but only i make things worse.

Sometimes i feel like i just want to give up all together. I feel like i take too much shit, and i dont have a backbone anymore. Yes, i lost that backbone a long time ago. I want to be able to stand up for myself, and whats right for me, its so hard. I dont like rejection, i hate to even think of it. I dont understand, honestly. I have no problem standing up for myself when it comes to my family and friends, but when it comes to love, i feel hopeless. I just want to feel important to him.. is that so wrong? I guess i should give up all together, then again, i really dont want to. I cant lose again to my selfishness.

I feel so sick. I just want to run away. I wish the sun would come out, i know for a fact i would feel happier with the sun hanging over my head.

Perhaps i will return back to sleep. Hopefully when i wake up, things will be better. That is, i hope. I know it will only happen if i let it, well i want it to happen. Bring it on.

"Hide And Seek"

Where are we? What the hell is going on?
The dust has only just begun to form,
Crop circles in the carpet, sinking, feeling.
Spin me round again and rub my eyes.
This can't be happening.
When busy streets a mess with people
would stop to hold their heads heavy.

Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines.
All those years they were here first.

Oily marks appear on walls
Where pleasure moments hung before.
The takeover, the sweeping insensitivity of this
still life.

Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines. (Oh, you won't catch me around here)
Blood and tears,
They were here first.

Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that you only meant well? Well, of course you did.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it's all for the best? Ah of course it is.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it's just what we need? And you decided this.
Mmm what you say?
What did she say?

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I dont believe you.
You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you.
You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.

You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.

:

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 17:44:51 GMT

White wings
Swirling gently ride
The wind that takes
You with the tide
To shores unknown,
Unseen by me.
Today you sail
A different sea
With God to guide
Your spirit free.

In loving memory
Laura Elizabeth Rudie
6-8-1989 ~ 3-28-2004

Gwen Stefani, you are not japanese..

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 23:54:51 GMT

Its a beautiful day outside, and im in my room.. typing this. Seriously what is wrong with this picture? Too bad its supposed to get nasty again.. Seriously i cant wait until i can go outside and wear my summer skirts and actually do something.

I guess its the whole fact that i cant stop playing Gaia, and im actually becoming one of the richest people on that game. Oh the thrills i will have...

New work schedule : Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays.

Thats like, an absolute gift from god.

So the weekly schedule goes:

Monday: Work.
Tuesday: TKD
Wednesday: Riley appointment and Work
Thursday: TKD
Friday: Work (And Kayla's coming home!)
Saturday: TKD in the morning, and then friend-time.

D:

Lab Rat

Thu, 02 Aug 2007 20:17:33 GMT

There is something wrong with me, and the doctor's cant find out what. Ive been having pain in my chest for awhile now, and its to the point its very bothersome. I told my doctor this on Tuesday, and she looked concerned. I had to have heart monitors put on me, to take reflexes, and they said that looked ok. Then i had to go take X-rays, and they said that the x-rays also looked normal. Yesterday i had to go in for an Echo test. They told me they were going to send the pictures off to a cardiologist, and if something was severe, they would give me a call today, but most likely they will call me in 5 days to tell me that everything is fine. When i went to sit up after my tests were done, i felt faint, and almost passed out. They made me go sit in the damn waiting room to see a doctor, who gave me medicine for Pleurisy (A condition to where the lining of your lungs rubs up against your chest cavity.)

However, i forgot to mention.. Riley Hospital told me that alot of the Chemotherapy i took, could affect my heart. But alas, they also told me i did not have enough to do severe damage.

I have to go in Monday to get a catscan to make sure i dont have blood clots in my chest.

I now have enough medication to start a freakin pharmacy.

Ive made up my mind.

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 07:18:16 GMT

I have done alot of thinking in the past of what i really want to go to college for. I felt, for awhile, that i wanted to go into Culinary, but honestly, thats not what my heart is set on. I want to save lives. I want to brighten someone's day. I want to be a nurse.

In the past, i have been told "Your not smart enough to make it through nursing school". This isnt true at all. I have proven to myself, that i am capable of reaching goals. I look at myself in the mirror each day when i wake up, and i simply tell myself "I am loved. I am beautiful. I am smart". It is time for me to prove those wrong who do not believe in me.

I have always been told, that if you want something in life, and you work hard, you shall recieve what you deserve. I have never been a straight A student, and even at times i wanted to give up and quit school, but im glad i never did. I worked hard to get that diploma, and i finally reached that goal. However, now it is time for me to set a new goal in life. I may not be the best in some subjects, but i know in my heart, if i try hard enough, i will reach my goal.

New Job!

Sat, 12 May 2007 05:49:48 GMT

I got the job at Super Target in the Bakery.

I love my life.

Taco bell has gotten even.

Sat, 03 Feb 2007 22:03:39 GMT

Taco Bell has given me food poisoning.

But i still love their food, none the less.

3-28-2004

Tue, 28 Mar 2006 20:58:55 GMT

Thu, 25 Nov 2004 04:29:06 GMT

Just comment, and i will add you ^^